


I'd like it if you stayed...

by AhnzoVincente



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Andromeda
Genre: Character Death Implied, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, Music, Night Terrors, Non-binary character, Piano, ptsd mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 20:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11448132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhnzoVincente/pseuds/AhnzoVincente
Summary: When night terrors strike fear into his heart, Ahnzo awakes screaming into the darkness. Unable to fall asleep, SAM suggests he take the advice of the resident Doctor and play freely at his piano. Just as the pain begins to melt away and tears begin to fall, Ahnzo receives a surprise visitor.





	I'd like it if you stayed...

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt sent to me by my amazing friend @homoryder on Tumblr.
> 
> I wrote this during an episode of insomnia and after being up for 24 hours. So editing might be a bit off, this work was also without a beta reader and self edited. But I hope it is enjoyable! Will re-edit after I finish my short fic.

Opening his eyes, Ahnzo could feel the smoke furl around him. He takes a deep breath in, choking on the air unable to breathe. Painful putrid smells sting his nostrils.  _ Where… where am I? _   With a frenzied hand he reaches around, gathering his bearings. His lungs begin to burn; his heart beating, fighting the confines of his ribcage. In the distance shines a dim light. Muffled noises emanate from beyond, almost as if they are summoning him to walk closer.

Ahnzo attempts a struggled step towards the light, hearing the faint echo of a familiar voice calling out to him. It comforts him, telling him it’ll be alright. But he hears no words, he sees no figure, only a light. It begins growing larger and brighter, changing color as he struggles with every step. The red illuminates the ground around him, Remnant artifacts clutter at his feet, bots laying waste around him. He takes another step forward. Hearing a crack he shouts, “Fuck!” Ahnzo grasps his right thigh as he calls out into the darkness surrounding him. “Shit, must’ve broken my leg.”

As he draws nearer the light, a voice, a voice calls to him. A shadow begins to appear as a silhouette against the smoke and red lights. A voice reminding him of home, a voice reminding him of how things used to be. “It will be alright, you’ll be okay. Le cose andranno meglio. Te lo prometto figlio mio. ( Things will be better. I promise you, my son.) [1]”

The pain from his leg shoots up into his chest, his pulsating heart rapidly firing beats so hard he feels he is slowly losing his grip on life. Ahnzo winces through the pain, struggling and fighting with every step. But his efforts are in vain. For soon after approaching the mysterious shadow, the ground below him opens up into a gaping endless pit. He screams out with what feels like his final breath, begging to be saved, to be pulled back into the light. “I can’t die here, not today, not now!”

He clasps onto the edge, fingers aching to hold on. Ahnzo looks down, at what lies below. The same mysterious red light illuminates the walls of the cavernous pit that stretches into the Earth below. With his remaining strength, he pulls himself up enough to hook his arms up and over the ledge. He notices the shadowy figure has come towards him. Attempting to reach out to him. Ahnzo risks his fall and reaches an arm out only to come face to face with someone he never thought he’d see again.

“M- mom?! What, I don’t understand!” Before he received a response, a loud screeching noise echoed throughout the space around him. The bass boomed and pierced into his ears, scratching and clawing it’s way into his memories. The vision of his mother ceased as it dissipated into smoke. Fire began burning, and climbing its way up towards Ahnzo’s position. “Nnn… No!”

Tears falling, stinging his face he cries out only for his pleas to be swallowed by yet another powerful piercing shriek from the darkness.

At long last his grip fails and he falls down into the burning flames. The air around him growing denser and burning his lungs. A final echoing cry shouts into the void.

 

* * *

 

 

Ahnzo sits up with a jolt, sweat beading and dripping from his forehead. Green hair plastered to his scalp and neck. He clasps his hands to the sides of his head, covering his ears as if he can still hear that haunting screech. His fingernails begin to dig into the back of his neck, scratching the skin but not yet drawing blood. “Why… why does this keep happening?” He questions faintly.

“Pathfinder? Are you alright?” SAM’s monotoned and automated voice echos through the darkness of the Pathfinder’s quarters.

Wincing at the pain of a headache brought on by night terrors and insomnia he replies, “Just another night terror SAM… about Mom.” Sweat from his forehead drips onto his sheets. The memory felt so real, as if he was experiencing it. The feeling of panic still stung within his chest, aching to be at rest. Ahnzo moves himself and sits flush against the headboard, slouching down just wanting to have a night’s calm rest. Unfortunately such a goal alludes him every night, leaving him wrought with insomnia and pain both physical and mental. He clenches his eyes shut, forcing himself not to cry at the thought of losing his mom again. Tears begin flowing from the corners of his eyes, stinging his cheeks just like in the dream.

“Perhaps you should play your piano like Dr. T’Perro suggested?” SAM advises.

Ahnzo glances to the middle of his room at the grand piano Vetra helped save from the horrors of the Kadara badlands. [2]  An original and antique piece crafted by a musician in Ahnzo’s hometown in Italy. Resin black and white keys adorned the piano, to remain uncovered to be played at a moment's notice. Gold plated foot pedals, in a fleur de lis style. A dark grey and white marbled finish, custom requested by Ahnzo’s mother as a gift for his graduation. The shine of its finish reflected the light from a nearby blue giant star, illuminating the darkened room in a somber relaxing tone.

He moves to the edge of the bed, legs hanging over the edge and bare feet touching the cold harsh floor. Ahnzo grips the edge, fingers gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles turn white. He knows he has to play. Playing music is all he has, his only therapy. The deep echoing of the non-mechanical music moving throughout his quarters was always a comfort. It relaxed his mind, calmed his thoughts, eased his pain.

Begrudgingly he rises to his feet and makes his way over to the bench that perched underneath the piano. Ahnzo grasps the seat, covered in the same marbled finish as the main body of the gorgeous instrument before him. His fingers linger on the finish, feeling the smooth gloss of the lacquer that adorned the top layer of the marble finish. His pain begins to fade away as he imagines one of his favorite pieces. He sits down, back straight, feet planted firm but relaxed on the floor below. Hands and arms outstretched reaching and feeling the keys before him.

Ahnzo felt his hands become as light as air as he imagined playing one of his favorite pieces from the 20th century Gothic music scene. A band he studied in school, Nightwish, was one of his inspirations. The piano music to their songs never failed him. Whenever his mind was a jumbled mess of nightmare and PTSD, the way their songs flowed allowed him to ease his mind. He could feel his trouble melt away.

As he hummed the melody, his fingers began tickling the keys before him.  _ Keep the touch light, moving freely allows for controlled movement. _ He closes his eyes and lets the memory of the song guide him freely. The music begins to surround him, drowning out the sound of the drive core that hummed endlessly through the ship. It drowned out the lingering remnants of the horrifying screech that plagued his dreams.

Ahnzo begins to remember his life, the good one that used to be, not the distraught memories that plagued him at night. He cries mourning the loss of his family, his mother and father. Mourning the grief of his twin Ali being far away, in a coma.  _ I can’t lose them too… _ he thinks to himself.

His fingers continue to dance lightly up and down the keys. As his hands reach the lower octaves, his door hisses open.

“Ryder…” Jaal pauses. “I can, come back later?”

Ahnzo pauses abruptly, sour notes echoing through the hall behind him. Soon after, silence rang free as he contemplated his decision. “No, I… I would like it if you stayed Jaal,” Ahnzo responds softly, almost inaudible as he holds back more tears.

“Is everything, alright?” Jaal shuts the door behind him as he approaches Ahnzo at his piano.

Ahnzo takes a hand from the keys and extends it behind him, as if halting Jaal and asking him to remain at a distance. “I’m sorry. It’s just… nightmares again. Bad…” he says under his breath as he grips the edge of his bench.

Jaal sits on the couch, opposite of Ahnzo’s position. “Here,” Jaal motions beside him. “Come sit with me.”

Ahnzo stands from the piano and slowly makes his way over to Jaal’s side, wiping tears from his cheeks along the way. “I know, I know Angara are very free with their emotions and feelings. But this,” he stammers as he bursts into tears once more. He brings his palms to his head, covering the front of his face. “I can’t…” He says with a heavy voice, full of pain. “I can’t do this!”

“Can I, may I embrace you?” Jaal asks quietly. “You should relax. Somewhere safe.”

Ahnzo looks up from his huddled position, face swollen and eyes red with tears. “Yes, I… I would like that. Thank you.” He sniffles.

Jaal opens up and wraps an arm around Ahnzo as he leans into Jaal’s chest. He lies his head down softly, feeling the warmth of Jaal’s body and the beat of his heart. He finally felt safe, he felt like he was able to be vulnerable for the first time since coming to Andromeda, to let his guard down and not be afraid. He trusted Jaal.

The two of them sit in silence as they gaze out the window at the Scourge surrounding the planets and stars of Heleus. Ahnzo believed it to be an odd beauty, hauntingly fascinating.

Ahnzo’s eyes begin to weigh heavy, tears and terror receding for the moment giving him a quiet peace. Jaal’s embrace gives him a comfort he hasn’t felt before. As each blink lingers, Ahnzo begins to fall asleep in Jaal’s arms. For the night, for that moment, he feels safe. He feels relaxed. As he finally slips into the wonderful arms of a night’s rest, a smile slowly creeps across his lips and he whispers “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> [1] Italian phrase - translated by me after researching the phrase and language to the best of my ability. I apologize to any native speakers if I wrote it incorrectly.  
> [2] A reference to my short fic, which is a work in progress and in the outline stages!!


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